Dating with PURPOSE!

Okay.. so, I was one of the ones who would date guys just to fill a void or didn't like the feeling of being by myself. After many setbacks, and failure in that .. I realized I was dating without a true purpose, which more importantly the relationships were not built on the word of God. I've come to see whatever I would set out to do without God, fails... If you're reading this, you're probably wondering, "can I really have a more productive dating life?"... Yes, YOU can & will once you see why God desires to give you in your potential marriage.

Moreover, I'm on this journey to getting to where God needs be to be so that He can fill that void. I must admit, I still get lonely at times and feel the need to talk to someone. But like I would tell anyone else, you have family, you have friends ... talk to them. But more importantly, talk to the Jesus! He desires that we worship Him through prayer and reading His word. That alone opens up doors & encourages us that we're not alone. When I get before Him & worship Him for who His, my world becomes a better place. The more He fills that emptiness within me, I see where I wasted time dating RANDOM guys & where I put my relationship with the Jesus on the back burner. Like you, I desire to be married & share the rest of my life with someone else... First things are first, we must be MARRIED to the Lord 1st! Before we can truly give ourselves to another in marriage, we must completely give of ourselves to the Lord in marriage. He desires that intimate time with just you & Him. When you can truly be committed to Jesus & not cheat on Him with the world, then you won't have to seek for your wife/husband .. he/she will be around before you know it! When I was a young girl, I would have this desire to be married by the age 23... well I'm 24 - so those ideas were thrown out the door. I won't rush to get married just because I have a certain age or idea in mind. I believe God's timing is best. I'd rather not get caught up with the wrong guy just to feel better about myself. And as far as randomly dating... that doesn't help neither. So enough with the whole dating randoms. I'm set on focusing on the Lord and what He has for me. There's a season & time for everything on this earth. I refuse to believe my season for marriage or let alone meeting the right guy has passed.. What has for you is far greater than what you can IMAGINE for yourself. Until you're willing to let go of what you're in now, you won't begin to truly believe & see what God has promised for your life. Are you ready for better?

Just spending time in the Word of God strengthens me. I could be having a bad day, I pray .. or in need of comfort, I read my word and allow the Holy Spirit to minister to me. I must admit, I had a rough time with managing my anger, frustration at times, and all these other emotions. Just listening to a gospel song can get me in the right spirit. Even remembering what the Lord has done for me & what He's doing in my life reminds me to be content with my current situation and remain hopeful. It's not as easy as saying it, I much rather not date just so that I may avoid another heartbreak. God never intends for us to go through the cycle of dating & getting hurt. He has a better plan that far exceeds what we have on our agenda. The key that I've found to trusting God through all of this, is reminding myself that God has the perfect person for me & I trust His plan better than my own.

You may be asking, "how do you know when the RIGHT one comes?" .. You just know! The Holy Spirit tells you what to look for when he/she appears and when he/she does, the Spirit will give YOU confirmation. Don't be led by your own emotions or what someone else may tell you. You'll know! There's that saying that says, follow your heart .. & yada yada. If that was so, we would all be much better off .. but rather our emotions are selfish and won't allow us to see the logical aspect of dating. You'll just end up falling in love instead of really seeking out if the next person you meet is meant to be your potential spouse. If the relationship lacks purpose, abuse is inevitable." - Cornelius Lindsey .. this is pretty much explanatory. It doesn't matter how much you say it, but God won't send your wife/husband until you've 1st submitted to Him and lived a life worthy of the blessing He has in store for you. When you want something bad enough ... you'll work for it. That way when you get it, it has value in it. For me, I got to a place where I was tired of the same ol', same ol'. I knew I wanted something better, something different. A man that will love & respect me the way that I deserve to be. Just the last two years I've dated guys just so that I wouldn't be alone & to try to hurry & marry, The enemy knew who to send but at the same time, I knew they weren't sent by GOD. There was this one guy who told me he'd put a ring on my finger when I get myself together 0_o Not saying I'm altogether, but I knew that God was doing something great in me.... the right one will see & recognize the anointing on YOUR life. I knew my personal relationship with the Lord & where He was taking me. Therefore, I was already on the right track. After repeated let downs and disappointments, I gave dating a hangup to get in a place where God needed me the most.


Don't be afraid of cutting off some people in your life that are draining you or keeping your focus off of Christ. If you're dating someone right now and you're having 2nd thoughts on whether or not this is the person for you, trust me when the word of God says that God isn't the author of confusion... it really means JUST THAT. The Lord won't leave you wondering, but there will be an assurance by the Holy Spirit. Be patient. In all, we know that patience produces, perseverance and perseverance produces hope, and we know that our hope in Christ is not in vain, but sure to come to pass. God loves YOU & has the perfect plan for YOUR life. He will always lead you to the right people to help you in the time of need, supplies your need so that you won't go without, He's there for you every step of the way ... will never leave nor forsake you. Now if He does all of these things for you & sooooo much more, then why wouldn't He give you the man or woman of your dreams?

Here to encourage you & help you along the way. You may contact me at proverbs31woman.wise@gmail.com for further questions and/or advice to dating.

Vontrail Passmore